Old Millhillians RFC

A dramatic win!!!!
 
Last season the battle of Harpenden in deepest Hertfordshire was a seminal moment for us. Despite being pummelled most of the match, we stole a result which subsequently shaped our ultra successful season where our black shirted nemesis was vanquished in that historic final.
 
Our next demon was Hitchin-a team who, like Harpenden in 2008, gave us a rugby lesson. They represented the perfect enemy-a bunch of hard-boiled oversized veterans who wanted to outmuscle us posh boys. This was the only team we have never ever beaten. I saw this as the most important game of the season-even more than Southgate
 
We arrived on Saturday,fearful,cold, reluctant to get changed and holed up in the changing room. It did not start too well with poor Mark Derbyshire’s microbe infested pharynx causing his lymphatic system to overheat. He wisely traded his rugby boots for a blanket and a hot toddie in the comforts of the bar upstairs. Mark’s bodily functions have baffled medically minded millhillians members for months – from his most famous pungent hydrogen sulphide emissions which contaminated the Verulamians dressing room resulting in a dramatic win for us last year( For those who don’t know-Lee Margolis was struggling to open the toilet door at the club house and Mark was holding on and by the time access to the toilet was achieved – Mark let rip a belter in the opposition changing rooms) to too much kissing of middle class tottie resulting in glandular fever(again glandular fever is called the middle class kissing disease for the medically uneducated amongst us) and a ton of unorthodox injuries and ailments.
 
Back to saturday. it started in the changing room where several members of my squad questioned me on whether ‘keenness’ was a word in the english language. Monners confidently asserted that it was and was then seen to be furtively speaking to his teaching colleagues from the English department from Mill Hill School, who verified, for the benefit of Lee and Steaddie that ‘keenness’ was a legitimate word
 
Back to the rugby. Last year hitchin beat our ringer laden team 63-26-ask kempy and pete jenkins. They were flying high in the table. Think harpenden but they wear maroon and not black. Look at the size of them compared to us-what do they feed them up there. Monners has since spoken to the catering department at mill hill school to rectify the situation. Only myself and exeat pass(Martin-who cleverly wangled his exeat pass by getting Max to pressurize Zena into freezing on the touchline-She took her punishment in an excellent spirit but Martin will have to build a new shed but it was worth it!!) could measure up in terms of size-It was Goliaths against Davids.
 
The match started well with 2 tries for us. the most amazing try being a cross field kick by Monners that was caught mid air by our token redhead Josh who ran from the halfway line to score. He won champagne moment for this-Josh quiet and unassuming let his skill do the talking. Hitchin replied with 3 forward based tries of their own with our undersized pack being unable to contain their rolling mauls.
 
Fantastic team spirit and effort kept the score down and everybody contributed. Man of the match had to be Phillipe R-H whose ball-in-hand running flair is one of the worst kept secrets in the club. He has been consistently good all season but on saturday, he elevated himself from good to fantastic. A mild mannered bloke off the pitch, you don’t expect him to be so lethal to oppositions on it. His strengths also include general awareness of game situations, intelligence and support play. He works hard in getting his dad as far as the touchline but has failed in getting R-H senior over the touchline and onto the pitch.
 
Monners controlled the game well and Steaddie fought hard in the rucks, getting concussion and  2 weeks sick leave from rugby. Margolis runs the ball into contact and usually takes 3 opposition defenders with him.
 
The hero of the hour, and match winner , not for the first time , and no surprises was ….Jonno Harris(is it Jonno or Jono, I never know,please correct me)-he scored the winning try and made some great tackles-He would have won man of the match but for some extraordinary creativity and vision from the aforementioned Phillipe.
 
Charlie Viquerey has contributed massively too. He has the best rugby brain in the team and eases the pain of not having much missed Fran Morris around. He thinks and plays like the peerless Fran and the fact that I am making these comparisons suggests how highly I rate Mr Viquerey, as both a player and a personality for our team.
 
Dave Cohen, whose medical history is nearly as complicated as Derbyshire’s, received a disorientating kick in the head for his troubles.
 
In the last minute, desperate line defending kept the scoreline favourable and never has shouting mabullas sounded so great!!!!
 
MABULLA MABULLA MABULLA HA
 
PS-Watch the film trading places if keen to find origin of Mabulla